NAME meshing is the trendiest way to say, “I love you”.
Rather than simply taking the man’s name or becoming a double-barrelled bore, squashing together half of each name to make one is the way to go.
More than 800 British couples meshed their surnames last year. TV personality DAWN PORTER became part of the trend when she changed her name to O’Porter after marrying the Irish star of Bridesmaids, Chris O’Dowd, 33, in 2012.
Dawn, 34, had sleepless nights over changing her name – and maintained part of it to secure her independence.
Here she tells NIKKI WATKINS why she didn’t ditch her name when she got hitched.
"AS a woman, surnames are a link back to who we are.
It’s important to keep hold of that for a sense of self.
In this modern age of equality, women have fought so hard to get to a position of success – both professionally and personally – that it would be counter-productive to give that all up when you tie the knot.
I have spent my entire adult life trying to get people to remember my name in my work. So the idea of ditching it and becoming someone else was ridiculous to me.
I have friends who couldn’t wait to change their names when they got married. It was the height of romance and unity for them – and all power to them, if that’s what they want.
But the idea of changing my name kept me up at night. I couldn’t handle the idea at all. I felt silly at the thought of it.
I am Dawn Porter. Who on earth is Dawn O’Dowd? I can’t imagine her. Mrs O’Dowd is my mother-in-law, not me. In a practical sense too, as well as being a link back to your family, as a woman it allows you to continue the family heritage.
I am one of two sisters. So what happens to the Porters if we both just give up the name?
Modern marriage is more about union and equality.
Who says it should be the woman to relinquish her heritage and name when it seems far more equal to create a new one that meets on middle ground?
I was recently involved in some research for Baileys as part of their Spirited Women campaign, investigating the evolution of womanhood over the last 40 years. The research found that only three per cent of women think dominance is a defining characteristic of being a spirited woman.
And I would have to agree with that. Being a modern woman is not just a feminist statement – it’s also an attitude.
Keeping an element of my surname felt important for retaining my own independence without completely dismissing the union of a shared name that marriage gives.
Meshing surnames is not about one side of the partnership reigning supreme above the other.
It’s about compromise, creating something new and starting afresh in your new life together.
I totally understand wanting to become a unit and I really wanted to do that.
I don’t have a middle name and I didn’t suddenly want a long, double-barrelled surname.
I am a writer. Loads of authors have an initial in the middle, so I thought that was kind of perfect.
So I took the “O” from my Irish husband. I love it. I think it’s cute and it makes us laugh.
I did feel a bit silly saying it out loud at first, but I am used to it now.
I am still Dawn Porter, just with a little bit extra.
No one should have to give up their name if they don’t want to. This is a modern world and people shouldn’t be afraid to change the rules.
Do what you want.
You don’t have to lose who you are in the name of tradition."
Read more: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/4912246/Dawn-OPorter-Make-a-mesh-of-getting-wed.html#ixzz2SFqwevUt
No comments:
Post a Comment